This is not the post I had anticipated writing. It’s not really a topic I would have ever thought I would touch. Hell, I am a little surprised to feel this way at all. So where I had other things to write about, I just really needed to get this off my chest.

Let me start by saying that I love running. I guess I don’t have to say that, because if you haven’t inferred that yet from this blog then you must be new here. But seriously, I really enjoy running. I wasn’t always a runner though. I didn’t start running until 2010 and the day I decided to train for a 5k, I had never ran a step before in my life.

I tell people all the time when asked about my journey from 5k to marathon that I had to teach myself to run. It’s one thing to put on a pair of shoes and sweat and cry through a couple miles but a completely different thing to decide to be a long distance runner. And what I mean by that is, I had to learn to be a runner.

(you will be seeing these Santa Hustle shots a lot. I never take a good race pic.)

I started out in a motion control shoe, I couldn’t get through a mile when I started and I was SLOW. I learned how to strike with my feet so I didn’t fall down. Then I taught myself to hold a foot strike that could help prevent injury. And improved it even more when I improved my speed. I guess what I am saying is I got good at running and not because I am a natural. I had to practice at it everyday.

This all has a point, I promise.

When I was at FitBloggin’ in September, a fellow blogger was sharing her story regarding her fitness challenges. She was a runner that wrote a running blog, but over time she found that she wasn’t that into or good at running and got really into CrossFit. So her blog began to change and mold and slowly became a CrossFit blog. Her question was, “I was a running blog, but I hate running. How do I transition my readers from thinking this is a running blog and get them on board with my CrossFit blog?” I’m paraphrasing, but you get my drift.

I have no intentions of abandoning the running aspect of this blog. In fact, I have only just recently (since about September at Fitbloggin’) embraced the fact that this is a full blown running blog and thats why my readers come here (Hi Mom!).

But I have talked on here before and mention it several times in other pages that I also practice yoga. It’s true. I do yoga. I like to hit the mat from time to time. I used to enjoy my Friday lunch time yoga classes pretty regularly. I would walk away from class feeling all crunchy-granola like I wanted to hug some trees and I just love posting a check in at Inner Bliss to my facebook.

But honestly, I freakin’ suck at yoga.

I am just not good at it. I worked really hard at running and I got kinda good at it. I don’t win anything, but I improve almost daily. I have been practicing vinyasa at Inner Bliss since 2010. I have done the Inner Bliss “Experience” 3 times. And I still suck at yoga. I want to use it to improve my core muscles and recover from runs. But it is hard to stay interested in something I suck at so badly. My muscles shake like crazy and give out during the easiest flow, I can never find my “breath,” and my downward facing dog looks… well, like a dog gone wrong.

Case in point: Dancer’s Pose.

This is what dancer should look like…

(source)

And my dancer’s pose…

I attended a hot class last night and wanted to kill myself pretty much the entire time. The instructor kept saying, “Only when you feel you want to give up is when you’re practice begins.” 

Yes, thank you super-bendy, slim, and gorgeous yoga instructor. I will remember that, right after I get out of child’s pose.

I guess what I have going on here, what I am trying to say is, I think that maybe, just maybe, I don’t like yoga? Is this even possible? Will I ever do crow pose? I am starting to think not. So what do I do, keep going to yoga in hopes it gets easier or try my hand at something else? I’ve been doing this yoga stuff for a few years now. Is enough enough?

I am the first person to send a friend to Inner Bliss or invite someone out to a class with me. I am constantly encouraging others to let go of their fears, find their own practice, and just breathe. What am I saying to these people? I am terrible at yoga, what the hell do I know?

I am not stating right here, right now, that I quit yoga. I’m not throwing my mat in the trash. I am confessing to those who I have shared an Ohm with that I find yoga crazy hard, and next to zero relaxing. Maybe I am just having a bad yoga day. It’s just discouraging when corpse pose is the only pose I can do better than anyone else in the class. No one can savasana quite like I do.

I have a few classes left on my package with Inner Bliss. So once I am done licking my wounds I will go back and give it another try. I really want to be good at yoga so I guess saying I don’t like it is extreme. I’m just sore right now. Sore on the subject and in my abs. Double whamming. Maybe I will revisit this in a week.

Do you have a sport or exercise that just eludes you? A fitness arch nemesis? How do you overcome the battle and how long did it take? Maybe my dream of doing crow pose without slamming my face into the mat is just a pipe dream. Maybe.